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Sometimes, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles is convinced he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his grandiose moments frequently escalate into “detached from reality”, he explains. You’re riding high and you think, ‘Everyone’s going to know that I surpass everyone else … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

Regarding his experience, these phases of exaggerated self-worth are usually succeeded by a “sudden low”, a period when he feels deeply emotional and ashamed about his actions, leaving him particularly vulnerable to disapproval from others. He first suspected he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after looking up his traits on the internet – and was later evaluated by a clinician. But, he questions he would have accepted the diagnosis without having previously arrived at that realization by himself. “If you try to tell somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he notes – most notably if they feel feelings of superiority. They operate in an altered state that they’ve built up. And that world is like, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying The Condition

Though people have been called narcissists for over 100 years, the meaning can be ambiguous what the term implies the label. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” states a psychology professor, who believes the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he suggests many people conceal it, as there is widespread prejudice associated with the illness. A narcissist will tend to have “a heightened sense of self”, “a lack of empathy”, and “a tendency to exploit relationships to bolster one’s self-esteem through actions such as pursuing power,” the specialist clarifies. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he emphasizes.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so relationships weren’t a priority relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in The Disorder

Though a significant majority of people identified as having NPD are males, findings points out this statistic does not mean there are fewer narcissistic women, but that women with NPD is more often presented in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is under-identified. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be somewhat tolerated, similar to everything in society,” explains a young adult who posts about her dual diagnosis on online channels. It’s fairly common, the two disorders co-occur.

First-Hand Experiences

I find it difficult with handling criticism and being turned down,” she shares, whenever it’s suggested that I am at fault, I either go into defence mode or I become unresponsive.” Despite having this response – which is often called “self-esteem damage”, she has been trying to overcome it and listen to guidance from her loved ones, as she aims to avoid falling into the damaging patterns of her past. My past relationships were toxic to my partners during adolescence,” she reveals. With professional help, she has been able to manage her condition better, and she explains she and her current boyfriend “have a dynamic where we’ve agreed, ‘When I speak manipulatively, if I say something manipulative, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up primarily in the care of her father and notes she didn’t have supportive figures during development. I’ve had to teach myself continuously what is acceptable versus unacceptable to say in conflicts because it wasn’t modeled for me in my formative years,” she comments. Every insult was fair game when my household were insulting me in my early years.”

Underlying Factors of NPD

Conditions like NPD tend to be linked to difficulties as a child. “There is a genetic component,” says a mental health specialist. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “connected with that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to cope in formative years”, he continues, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was based on meeting specific standards. They then “continue to use those same mechanisms as adults”.

In common with many of the individuals with NPD, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The individual explains when he was a child, “the focus was always on them and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve academic success and life achievements, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t achieve their goals, he wasn’t “acceptable.

In adulthood, none of his relationships lasted. Emotional investment was lacking about anyone really,” he states. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He didn’t think experiencing genuine affection, until he met his long-term relationship of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, in a comparable situation, struggles with mood stability. She is “very supportive of the thoughts that occur in my head”, he notes – it was surprisingly, she who initially thought he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

After a visit to his general practitioner, he was directed to a mental health professional for an diagnosis and was given the NPD label. He has been put forward for psychological counseling on the public health system (extended treatment is the primary approach that has been shown to help NPD patients, experts say), but has been on the patient queue for an extended period: The estimate was it is expected around in a few months.”

Disclosure was limited to a handful of people about his NPD diagnosis, because “prejudice is common that every person with NPD is harmful”, but, in his own mind, he has accepted it. The awareness assists me to comprehend my actions, which is beneficial,” he explains. Those interviewed have acknowledged their condition and are looking for support for it – hence being willing to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the condition. But the existence of NPD content creators and the rise of online support communities indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number