Previous English skipper Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been diagnosed with motor neurone disease and admitted he cannot yet deal with the full ramifications of the muscle-wasting condition that ended the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old athlete, who was involved in the 2003 championship side and secured numerous English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast 14 days after learning he has the condition.
"There's an element of confronting what lies ahead and not wanting to fully comprehend that at the present time," he commented.
"It's not that I fail to comprehend where it's heading. We grasp that. But there is absolutely a reluctance to face what's ahead for now."
Moody, speaking together with his wife Annie, explains instead he feels "calm" as he focuses on his present welfare, his family and planning ahead for when the condition deteriorates.
"Perhaps that's shock or maybe I handle situations uniquely, and when I have the information, it's easier," he added.
Initial Indications
Moody found out he had MND after observing some reduced power in his upper arm while exercising in the gym.
After physiotherapy was ineffective for the problem, a set of scans revealed nerve cells in his brain and spinal cord had been damaged by MND.
"You receive this medical finding of MND and we're appropriately very moved about it, but it's quite odd because I think I'm perfectly healthy," he added.
"I don't experience ill. I don't experience poorly
"The signs I have are quite slight. I have a small amount of muscle wasting in the fingers and the shoulder region.
"I'm still competent to accomplishing anything and everything. And optimistically that will carry on for as long as is possible."
Condition Progression
MND can develop swiftly.
Based on the organization MND Association, the disease claims a third of people within a 365 days and more than half within two years of detection, as eating and respiration become more difficult.
Therapy can only slow decline.
"It's not me that I feel sad for," commented an moved Moody.
"There's sadness around having to break the news to my mum - as an single child - and the implications that has for her."
Family Consequences
Conversing from the residence with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by emotion when he mentioned telling his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and 15-year Ethan - the heartbreaking news, saying: "That represented the most difficult thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two excellent boys and that was pretty heartbreaking," Moody stated.
"We positioned ourselves on the couch in tears, Ethan and Dylan both embraced in each other, then the dog jumped over and began removing the moisture off our faces, which was quite amusing."
Moody said the focus was being in the present.
"We have no solution and that is why you have to be very militantly concentrated on just embracing and enjoying everything now," he stated.
"As Annie said, we've been very lucky that the only real choice I made when I concluded playing was to devote as much duration with the kids as attainable. We won't recover those times back."
Athlete Link
Top-level athletes are unevenly impacted by MND, with studies indicating the rate of the disease is up to 600% elevated than in the wider community.
It is believed that by limiting the air available and causing injury to nerve cells, consistent, intense physical activity can trigger the illness in those previously vulnerable.
Sports Professional Life
Moody, who won 71 England appearances and toured with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his playing career, in recognition of his courageous, persistent approach to the game.
He competed through a fracture of his leg for a duration with Leicester and once initiated a training-ground confrontation with fellow player and friend Martin Johnson when, frustrated, he left a tackle pad and commenced throwing himself into tackles.
After appearing as a replacement in the Rugby World Cup decisive match win over Australia in 2003, he won a ball at the back of the set piece in the crucial moment of play, setting a foundation for scrum-half Matt Dawson to snipe and Jonny Wilkinson to kick the match-winning field goal.
Backing System
Moody has earlier informed Johnson, who captained England to that title, and a couple of other ex- colleagues about his medical situation, but the remaining individuals will be finding out his news with the remainder of public.
"There shall be a period when we'll need to depend on their support but, at the present, just having that sort of love and acceptance that people are available is what's important," he commented.
"This game is such a wonderful community.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even if it concluded now, I've enjoyed all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with unbelievable people.
"Being able to call your love your career, it's one of the most significant honors.
"Achieving this for so extended a time with the groups that I did it with was a delight. And I understand they will desire to support in any way they can and I anticipate having those discussions."
